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The rest of the story....sm (kinda long)

Posted by Old Mom on July 14, 2005 at 08:11:56:

Well, it's been awhile again, but I felt the need to let you in on the rest of the story. Some of you may relate this to who I really am from another board, but I would appreciate letting things stay here that I've discussed here.

My son passed away on May 20. It was and still is heart-wrenching. My DIL did everything right that she could for him and he knew that. We cleared up a lot of the things LG had been pulling and we were going to move his belongings to our house, scheduled the day after he died. On the day he died, LG went to the house in the evening (we had asked the landlord to lock her out when son died because she had come to the hospital to see him for the last time and proceeded to tell HIS WIFE what things of my son's she was going to keep). NOW she was in for the fight of her life. LG saw the absolute worst in me as we went down the next day to get clothes to bury my boy. She had cleaned out all the electronics, TV, computer, anything that was big and expensive. Well, I got in her face, it was the absolute worst that I've ever felt and she got the brunt of it. And, she had been driving HIS car the whole time he was in the hospital, they keys were laying where the TV used to be and I just grabbed them and wouldn't give them back. WE CALLED THE POLICE just to find that we really had no rights there either because she had been living with him. The cop called the magistrate and he said whatever belonged to my son before they got together, whatever had a receipt with just my son's name on it belonged to my son and she would be charged with theft if it was not returned. So the next day when we went to clean out my son's house, most of the stuff was returned. She kept some things that she knew we couldn't track down receipts for and that he had bought while they were together. SO, we have not spoken to her since that day and have no intention to ever if at all possible. We did not even talk to her at the funeral and did not include her in the family things that we did. She was and is nothing. I told my son's best friend that another year and she will be a stranger on the street to me, and the friend told me that my son was going back to his wife anyway, he just never got the chance. My son had talked with a pastor friend about making his life right when he got out of the hospital. This is all good for me to know, BUT, as you can tell, I'm still getting over it. LG even had the gall to want to see my grandkids, ABSOLUTELY NOT by their choice as well as DIL and us. I really can't believe her! She doesn't understand that anything she kept belonged rightfully to HIS children and she robbed THEM.

So last night I start sorting out my son's things, they're at my house until DIL gets a place of her own. It's crazy. I think he was the kind of person who saved things "just in case" and there's lots of it. :) So I cry and I sort, and I think too much and I cry, and I do the best I can for those 3 little ones who are left behind. It's pretty rough. He had no life insurance and friends are throwing a music benefit to help out with the funeral expense that we took on because obviously DIL couldn't afford it.

Now, one child is having nightmares and has an appt at the doc. I think this is the one who has taken it the hardest. Hopefully they'll get into counseling to deal with the things of the past couple years.

So, I've come to tell you all this to just to say an extra prayer for our family as we deal and do what we have to do. Extra prayers certainly never hurt. And, mothers, encourage your adult children to keep life as uncomplicated as possible, so when tragedy strikes, you don't have a mess to deal should such a disaster strike. I wouldn't wish this kind of thing on anyone.

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