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I've had a similar situation and was hurt about it for a long time.

Posted by sm on June 02, 2005 at 10:37:48:

In Reply to: My kids are being ignored by my parents. Looking for advice sm posted by Sorry, long post on May 25, 2005 at 21:20:29:

For example, my parents wouldn't watch my kids to help me 9 times out of 10 and I can vividly remember being pregnant with my second child while the first one, who was age 1-1/2, was running around the OB/GYN's examining table while I had my feet up in the stirrups because my mom had refused to babysit for me that afternoon.

My kids are now 24 and 22.

One of my brothers lives on the same block as my parents and his son is 3 years old. My mom picks my nephew up at daycare every day and carts him to his activities, no questions asked. She's happy to do it.

I was very resentful and angry about this until my other sister-in-law said, "Well maybe it's because your parents are in a different point in their lives now than they were when your kids were little, and are more into being grandparents."

This made total sense to me. My parents were 40 years old when my older child was born and were very immature and self-absorbed. My youngest brother was 15 years old and they probably just weren't ready to be grandparents at that time. Now in their mid-60's they are more willing and able to be hands-on helpful grandparents.

I'd be lying if I said it never bothers me to think about it, but it doesn't hurt as much or as often now that I now think about it from a different perspective.

Maybe since your siblings seem to be more dependent than you are and more needy, your parents feel the need to help them more, not realizing how it makes you feel left out and neglected as far as your kids are concerned.

Regardless I hope you guys work this out. There's nothing worse than family discord of any type.

Best of luck with this.


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