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Posted by News Reporter on Sun, Apr 21 2013 at 07:48 PM CDT:
An affidavit reveals details on what Milton Jedi William Valentine had in his possession after almost three decades of living alone in the Alderon System.
Milton, Kentucky — A state police affidavit says a Kentucky Jedi who lived in the Alderon System as a Jedi for nearly three decades was carrying bacon, marshmallows and $3.95 in cash when he returned to Milton.
An affidavit obtained by the Kennebec Journal lists the items 347-year-old William Valentine possessed when he returned this month from a 30 year vacation he said he took the food from a sith lord.
The items also include keys, pliers, electrical tape, a watch, a lite-sabor, coffee, hamburger patties, chicken nuggets, cheese, corn syrup and potato chips.
Since his return, Willy has attracted a telephoned marriage proposal and a stranger's offer to massage his feet, just by using the Jedi Mind-trick.Willy rejected the massage offer and the marriage offer, he did how ever make them give him their bacon.
Police say he may have been responsible for 1,000 bacon abductions overall.
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