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You know, Frankie, it just occurred to me regarding your

Posted by question below of trying to fit in Rachael sm on November 28, 2010 at 09:58:29:

IF that is the group that you want to fit in with, if you are honest with them about why you don't fit in (at least Jesus-wise), but let them know you want to be (assuming you do), from my experience in the past, they will be only too happy to take you in and do everything they can to explain (convert?) you. If you are vehemetly (sp) opposed to what they say or you pretend though, it might not go well for you.

Of course, it is possible that if this is a group you want to be with, you don't have to explain anything to them.

I had that experience when I first came to Seattle. In early November, pregnant and homeless, there was a beautiful old church on a corner that I totally fell in love with because of the architecture. They were also starting their Christmas music with the choir.

I just started going because the place was beautiful and the music was beautiful. I missed singing, so before you know it, I was singing in the choir.

It was obvious I was pregnant. The congregation was very small and *mostly* older folks, so there had not been a baby (or any new members really) for a long time.

They just embraced me. Gave me a shower for the baby, took me in as if I was "one of theirs," and never once did anyone question me, who I was, where I was from, or even if I was a believer.

I felt very guilty sometimes that perhaps if they "knew," they wouldn't be so good to me, and here I was accepting all this from them, but not being of the belief they were. But I did try to give back. I did sing in the choir, I did go every week to pack sack lunches for the homeless, I volunteered any way I could so I didn't feel like I was actually "taking" from them.

It NEVER came up and they seemed to be more than happy to take me in.

I just knew that I was homelss, pregnant, and couldn't do it totally alone. But like I said, sometimes I did feel like I was using them, but I just couldn't handle being in a strange town, no family, no friends, alone and pregnant.

And once my son was born, he was surrounded by love from like 50 grannies and grampies. It was great.

It also brought kind of a baby boom to the church. After my son was born, 2 other couples became pregnant and for the first time in years, they started a nursery in the basement. Of course, as time went on, people got to know me, how and why I came to Seattle and to that church, but as far as I know, no one ever held it against me.

The first Christmas after my son was born, he was baby Jesus in the manger, I was Mary and sang "Away In A Manger" (as best I could without crying). Believe you me, my mother would have turned over in her grave, and well, my stepmother had already disowned me.

I know as a Jew, my son being Jesus and me being Mary was the ultimate act of blasphemy, but it felt like the biggest honor at the time.

That church ran into all kinds of problems with the pastor and then the college across the street owning the land the church was on and despite our efforts to get historical status for it, it fell to the hands of the college.

I'm not sure what I'm really trying to say here, as you all know, I tend to rattle on, but ultimately, just be you.

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