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Here is my take on it.

Posted by Rachael on November 26, 2010 at 03:58:12:

In Reply to: I am grappling with a controversy right now concerning "Jesus." sm posted by Frankie on November 26, 2010 at 01:48:50:

It is never okay to do something just to try to fit in. It is living a lie.

As a gay man, I think you would understand that. Is it okay to pretend to be straight to fit in?

Always be true to yourself Frankie.

I kind of did the same thing with Jesus and Christianity, so I understand. I grew up Jewish in a gentile world. I wanted so badly to fit in. I wanted to believe. I wanted to go to church on Sunday. I wanted to be baptised. I wanted to be accepted by the people around me as Christian. I wanted to be accepted by Jesus. I professed my believe in Jesus. I wanted to believe so badly. The people all around me were so happy for me and so accepting. I lived that way for years, in a church home, surrounded by Christians, Bible study, church life. But at some point, I couldn't do it. It wasn't me.

Now I do suppose for some people, it would have changed. The Word would have become clear, the life would have become mine. It would have been good if it had. But it didn't.

You will fit in, you will be accepted, and maybe by such, you will believe too. It could happen.

But it could also happen that it would be no different than pretending you are straight just to fit in, living a straight life to fit in - how often does it happen that by living a straight life to fit in, one ends up actually becoming straight.

I guess it is in your motive. If you surround yourself with it because you want to become a believer, it could work. If you are doing it just to fit in, it might not.

But then, like I said, it got past the point for me where it was more than just fit in. I wanted to believe. I wanted that life. I lived that life for 5 years, totally submersed myself in it - only Christian music, radio, tv, made the church my life. I was very happy those 5 years. But just realized at one point, that was not me. I don't really remember now why.

But maybe that wouldn't happen to you.

I don't know.

it is 2 am and I'm ramblinb.


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