I guess this has been coming for awhile. This is a common phenomenon, if Advocate Magazine is correct, that a same-sex couple consisting of an older man and a younger man (I am 14 years older than Pete)--after the older one gets the younger one out of financial trouble and well on their way to success--then the younger one no longer needs the older one and the relationship disintegrates. That is what happened here. I put Pete through a computer course that helped him get his position, and it has been all great for him since. He keeps getting promotions and raises, and there seems to be no end in sight. Since I handled the bills, I got his credit score back in the 700s. I guess the magazine was right...
The real stress to our relationship came when Pete's faghag moved in with us. I could make a good case for her going after me to get me out so she could have Pete all to herself (not a sexual relationship, but Pete will always take her word over mine). I think she is a nag/control freak of the worst sort, and she picks apart everything that I do. Now that she knows I am moving out, she is on cloud #9. But, when I'm gone, she will turn on Pete and pick him apart since she is an OCD control freak.
I was going to pay for and do Thanksgiving tomorrow for us, but by the time Cheryl picked me apart about how she wanted it done, I gave up. Last year, she said she was going to do Thanksgiving, but it never happened. I had to pull it together at the last minute. Though I had no money, I pulled the money together with cashing in cans and loose change ($124). I was very proud of myself, and I fed 8 people since we had unexpected guests show up for Thanksgiving (Cheryl invited guests).
Why do men, even gay men, need the nagging female in their lives? Don't kid yourself, heterosexuality is alive and well inside of every gay man that has a faghag sidekick...
Anyway, Pete dropped me form his insurance, so now I have to find a second job that has inexpensive insurance (not sure that is out there), and I will have to live in this situation until I can get the income to move out, which I hope will be shortly after Christmas. NEVER LET YOURSELF GET DEPENDENT ON ANOTHER PERSON--YOU THINK YOU CAN TRUST THEM, BUT YOU NEVER KNOW THE FACTORS THAT CAN INTERVENE.
On the bright side, this is the first step to my returning to Alaska, so I will be glad to be back with my kids and grandkids. That will be fun, and that is what keeps me going.
Though I am still gay (hey, a miniature schnauzer can't change their desire to run constant security) and will always be sympathetic to the gay cause, I will not be having anything else to do with being gay or the gay community. I was no better at being gay than I was at being straight, and for several years now, my heart has been with my faith. Hecate and Cernunnos have been so good to me, and I will continue to serve Them.
Pete and Cheryl make fun of my faith in Hecate and my fascination with Astrology--they are like my Mother was towards me when I became Christian way back when. It is funny how we keep choosing the same wrong relationships when we get to be adults.
Speaking of Astrology, though, the planets that are concerned with me just moved out of some very tense alignments, and with the Sun, Mars, Venus, and Mercury all in Sagittarius, things will move head for me. Uranus soon moves back into Aries, signaling a moving on with the next chapter in all our lives, and Jupiter aligns with Uranus in my fifth house of fun and will be there for a year. I do hope the Universe's idea of fun is the same as mine... The only negative I will be contending with is Pluto (which brought down our economy) aligns with my natal North Node (what you are supposed to be doing with your life in your current incarnation), and from what I have read, that is a real life changer. I am working on the courage to see this as an adventure...
And that's life as I know it. I just wanted to share with my friends here since I don't have any friends in Iowa (they are all Pete's friends).
Post a Followup