In Reply to: I agree w/Estelle and Rachel. It also could be that (sm) posted by Shawn on November 06, 2010 at 21:21:29:
I see there are people here who understand. Shawn, that made me cry, and I can barely see the screen as I type this. Thanks Estelle and Rachel also. I think it's possible you may be right about me missing it. As far as having everything pretty much settled and said, that was the case for my mother, but not for my sister, Lori. I feel like with her there was a lot of unfinished business, as we were never really close until about 10 years ago. She and I always talked about visits we had from our other 2 sisters, especially around the holidays, and we just always "knew" that whichever of us went first would make sure the other one knew. I think part of the reason I am having so much difficulty with this is, she was so young and kept saying she didn't want to die and she felt like my mother was pulling her. I kept telling her that my mother didn't have that much influence on her in death, but I don't know that she ever believed it. She died 7 weeks after she was diagnosed with cancer and I just feel as if we did not "finish" as she lived in another state, although I did visit. I'll keep looking for signs of her, and maybe I will see them. Thanks for listening to me go on. If you have any other ideas to offer, I'd like to hear them.
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