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In Reply to: But O SO FUNNY posted by Irreverent joke with profanity on April 13, 2005 at 13:27:26:
: Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to
: sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white
: robe standing front of his bed.
: "What the hell are you doing in my bedroom...and who are you?" he asked.
: "This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter,and you are in
: heaven."
: "WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young," said
: Tom. "I want you to send me back immediately."
: "It's not that easy", said St. Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen.
: The choice is your own."
: Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring,
: but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster
: can't be that bad. "I want to return as a hen," Tom replied.
: And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely
: feathered. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow. Then along
: came the rooster.
: "Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," he said. "How do
: you like being a hen?"
: "Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my butt is about to explode."
: "Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to
: lay an egg. Just cluck twice, and then you push all you can."
: Tom clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'plop' an
: egg was on the ground.
: "Wow" Tom said. "That felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed.
: And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground.
: The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: "Tom, for Christ's sake!
: Wake up! You're shittin' all over the bed!"