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Subject: Early Retirement-signs of the future...
It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it
becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when
they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are
oversensitive and there ain't nothing worse than an oversensitive
woman.
Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife. When I took
"early retirement" in April, it became necessary for her to get a
full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we
needed.
Shortly after she started working I noticed she was beginning to show
her age. I usually get home from the Golf Course about the same time she
gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always
says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.
I don't yell at her.. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me
when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's
Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home
cooked grub when I hit that door...
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now,
it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after
dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening
that they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does
seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
I really think my old business as a consultant helps a lot. I
consider telling people what they ought to do one of my strong points...
And speaking of bed, her age really shows up there. I go out and
golf all day, come in dead tired and after a two hour nap and a good meal,
I'm ready, if you know what I mean. Age has gotten her so bad that she
actually dozes off during lovemaking. But that's okay. Her
satisfaction in that area is important to a sensitive guy like me and if
she enjoys sleeping during our little trysts, what the hey...
Now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much
more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says
she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big
issue of this; as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I'm willing
to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to
wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker
club, or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling, or something like that, I will
tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a
little more time to do some of those odds and ends like shampooing the dog,
vacuuming or dusting...
Also, if I had a really good day on the course and it was wet and
muddy my clubs are a mess, so I let her clean them, you know.....get the
grit off the grips and a little light Brillo on the club faces at a casual
pace. My golf bag is heavy so I lift it out of the trunk for her. Women are
delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as good as men.
But I did tell her I don't like to be wakened during my after golf nap,
so rather then bother me, she can put them back in the trunk when she's
finished.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she
will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly
bills during her lunch hour. But boys, we take em for better or worse, so I
just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or
even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.
I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't
hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my
strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest
periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the
yard. I try not to make a scene.
I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of
freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is
making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too, then
take her break by my hammock. That way she can talk with me until I fall
asleep.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support her.
I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will
find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I
do, how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less
criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that
writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help
each other.
EDITOR'S NOTE: He died suddenly Thursday, June 3. He was found with a
Calloway extra long 50 inch Big Bertha Driver rammed up his rectum
with only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife was arrested, but the Grand
Jury accepted her defense that he accidentally sat on it and she was
released on Friday, June 4.