These are curtesy of another poster on the Restuvus. I thought they were just too cute! Enjoy! : D
What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?
- Beneduck Arnold!
What did Paul Revere say at the end of his ride?
- "I gotta get a softer saddle!"
What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?
- The Boston Flea Party!
What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
- The Americans licked the British!
Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
- Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
- To get to the other tide!
What do you call a parade of German mercenaries?
- A Hessian procession!
What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
- Yankee Poodle!
Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
- Yeah, it cracked me up!
What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?
- The Fodder of Our Country!
What's red, white, blue, and almost as ugly as a dog?
- A revolutionary warthog!
What did one flag say to the other flag?
- Nothing. It just waved!
What's red, white, black and blue?
- Uncle Sam falling down the steps!
Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?
- At the chopping mall!
What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
- Liberty!
What was General Washington's favourite tree?
- The infantry!
Which colonists told the most jokes?
- Punsylvanians!
What would you get if you crossed Washington's home with nasty insects?
- Mt. Vermin!
What did a patriot put on his dry skin?
- Revo-lotion!
What would you get if you crossed a dog with the Father of Our Country?
- George Washingtongue!
Who is a dogs favourite Founding Father?
- Bone Franklin!
What would you get if you crossed Jon with the English king in 1776?
- King George the Nerd!
What dance was very popular in 1776?
- Indepen-dance!
Which one of Washington's officers had the best sense of humour?
- Laughayette!
What is a hungry boys favorite picnic event?
- The snack race!
"How was the food at the Fourth of July picnic?
- "The hot dogs were bad and the brats were wurst!"
What did Washington say as he crossed the Delaware?
- "Next time I'm going to reserve a seat!"
Teacher: "Why did Washington chop down the cherry tree with his hatchet?"
Student: "Because his mom wouldn't let him play with the chain saw!"
Teacher: "The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. True or false?"
Student: "False! It was written in ink!"
Why did Washington win the battle of Trenton?
- Because the enemy soldiers were Hessian around!
What would you get if you crossed a monster with one of Washington's officers?
- Baron von Steupid!
What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?
- Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer!
What march would you play at a jungle parade?
= "Tarzan Stripes Forever"!
What would you get if you crossed a monster with a redcoat?
- A bigger target.
Why did the British soldiers wear red coats?
- So they could hide in the tomatoes.
Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?
- Because they're both cracked!
Teacher: "Who wrote `Oh say, can you see?"'
Student: "An eye doctor?"
How is a healthy person like the United States?
- They both have good constitutions!
What would you get if you crossed Patrick Henry with a hungry boy?
- A patriot who says, "Give me lasagne or give me death!"
What has feathers, webbed feet, and certain inalienable rights?
- The Ducklaration of Independence!
Why did the duck say "Bang!"?
- Because he was a firequacker!
What cat said, "The British are coming! The British are coming!"?
- Paw Revere.
What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?
- The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
What was Thomas Jefferson's favourite dessert?
- Monti jello!
Teacher: "Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?"
Student: "I think it was Thomas Jeffer's son."
What did King George think of the American colonists?
- He thought they were revolting!
Why were the early American settlers like ants?
- Because they lived in colonies.
What famous pig signed the Declaration of Independence?
- John Hamcock!
What did George Washington say to his army at Valley Forge?
- "Sorry, men. The flights to Florida are all booked up!"
What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?
- A bald beagle!
What would you get if you crossed a colonial hairpiece with a teepee?
- A powdered wigwam!
What's red, white, blue, and green?
- A patriotic pickle!
What did the visitor say as he left the Statue of Liberty?
- "Keep in torch!"
What's big, cracked, and carries your luggage?
- The Liberty Bellhop!
What ghost haunted King George III?
- The spirit of '76!
Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?
- He was a Yankee doodler!
What would you get if you crossed a monster with Yankee Doodle?
- Yankee Doofus!
What's red, white, blue and green?
- A seasick Uncle Sam!