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One day, several years ago, I hopped onto the 103 bus towards the SI Ferry and 65
headed towards the Big Apple. 66
But the driver being a new driver, didn't know that the Big Apple meant New York so instead he drove the bus to. 67
New Jersey.
I got out of my seat to go tell the bus driver that he was going the wrong way and to ask him where he was going. The bus driver said: 68
"Take a seat.....you're in for the ride of your life!" I sat down and the bus took off. After 3 hours I noticed that 69
the bus driver had on a shirt that said "Bellevue Psych Ward." I remembered the article in the newspaper that morning about the escaped mental patient and I decided the best thing to do was 70
to sit down, be quiet, and brace myself for the ride of my life. Of course I was extremely nervous, not knowing what I was in for.
I bus driver drove for what seemed to be hours. I looked out the window and 71
I saw that we were at Bellevue Hospital Center.
Now ain't that a kicker. 72
Finally, the bus driver/mental patient told me what he had in mind. The plan was to help his girlfriend, also a mental patient, break out of the psych ward. The first thing we did was 73
was disguise ourselves. I had been shopping that day and we had some costomes for Holloween. So we put on the costoms on and he was a doctor and I was dressed like a nun, a Jewish nun. he he he. We both started walking towards the employee entrance and........... 74
and amazingly security did not stop us. The Officer said good afternoon to us as we entered and walked towards the elevators.
All of a sudden, 75
the phyco bus driver let out a BIIIIIG FART....(dead give away)as he walked toward the front desk where, Burtha Butt the head phyco nurse was. 76
eating a pastrami sandwich. She recognized the bus driver/mental patient and 77
jumped on top of him, tackled him to the floor, and screamed for help. "No one gets away from me. No one escapes!" she was sitting on top of him, waiting for help, when 78
Burtha called out for help, she looked around and to her surprise, everyone was down on the ground knocked out cold. Hmmmmmmm she wondered! You idiot said the phyco! How do you think I excaped from this crazy joint in the first place? I'ts my farts that knocks them all out. 79
Just then Burtha pulled out a can of Lysol from her lab coat pocket and started spraying all over. Slowly, everyone started coming to. (Burtha was prepared because she herself was lactose intolerant and laid some doozies.) All of a sudden, 80
So everyone is now awake and alert and just whan they were ready to perform their job, the boss entered. "What's going on here? Get back to work! This is not a social club." Pointing to the Psycho bus driver, he asks, "Who are you and what are you doing here?" Following is his response that suprised everyone: "
81
I'm President Bush, of course. Who did you think I was?" All of sudden, everyone started laughing and 82
"Yes, I see that you indeed ARE President Bush. Now come with me into your lovely room" said the Director of the institution. "We're going to take real good care of you."
So, together they walked down the long corridor, when 83
they met up with the medication nurse. She gave the psycho bus driver a pill that turned him into a 84
an angel. Suddenly the angel said, "I was sent by our Lord to bring you home".
Burtha looked up and said I am not ready to go home and neither is anyone else here. The Angel said so then we will have to make a detour before we return. Were would you like that to be? I would like to relive the time that i was at Mount Loretta. I would like to see all my friends again especially those who have passed on. The angel said there will be a time for that you will all relive those days but now what would you like to do?
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I would just like to spend some time with the hundreds of my brothers and sisters that I grew up with and not just when someone passes on or for special occasions. I think we should see each other every month. Don't you? 86
With those words, the angel said "yes, it's possible, but not probable, I am sorry for your desire of wanting to relive your childhood at the mission, moreso, your grief. there are many who lived there and share your wish, I too once had a place at the mount and that is why I can relate with you, all of us mission kids must take the best, and leave the rest behind,Father drumgoole would have wanted it that way,Mount Loretto will always live in each of us within our daily lives,Sister Eucharia always said "whatever you do,do with your might! things done by halves, are never done right!" the only way to overcome your grief and home-sickness is what all of us are doing right now, and that is to reach out to the other kids and tell them all you know about the mission, we will always be connected in one way or another, our daily lives are somehow connected to the guidelines and memories as the structures that were once there and now are but a phantom of day-dreams of oh if I only...or I wish, change your way of thinking and say I'm glad I was a part of the mount loretto family and do what you can to rebuild the mission within yourself and you will rebuild others that have forgotten what it was to be a mission kid or even awe others who never heard of the mount with your memories. Within every blade of grass, every tree, every part of the beach, within every 194 acres of the mission, a mission kid's name is etched, think about it, we are all still there, the angel with that then left burtha to begin her own pathway to home. as the angel faded, burtha yelled where are you going? I thought the lord sent you to take me home, with heavenly chimes in the background, the angel replied I left you cabfare" 87
The sound of the heavenly chimes kept ringing in my ears. I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead. When I opened my eyes again I realized that I was back in my own bed. The ringing turned out to be my alarm clock going off. I reached over and clicked it off. "Thank God that it was just a crazy dream." I jumped out of bed and got dressed. I had to get to the city and I was now running late. I hopped on the 103 bus towards the SI Ferry and 88
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