An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return her father cursed her. "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a postcard? Why did'nt ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?
The Girl, crying, replied,"Sniff,sniff....dad.... I became a prostitute...."
"Ye WHAT!! Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"Ok, dad-- as ye so wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious fur coat, and you the title deeds to a 10 bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for £5 million pounds. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and also for ye daddy, the sparkling new Bentley 'limited edition convertible' that's parked outside plus a membership to the Country Club....(she takes a breath).... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and......
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says Dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff.... a prostitute Dad! Sniff, sniff.
"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a bloody Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a big hug".